


3am at a party

by strawberryfire



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 23:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21226085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfire/pseuds/strawberryfire
Summary: confessions to your crush always happen at 3am.





	3am at a party

**Author's Note:**

> this was just a little blurb posted originally on my tumblr :)
> 
> here’s the link if u wanna rb it!
> 
> https://harringrovesfawcettspray.tumblr.com/post/188666814457/say-it-at-3am-at-the-party

the music was quiet in steve harrington’s house, which was mostly empty, on a humid june night. a few people were passed out on the couch, others still drinking and making small talk outside by the pool.

billy sits alone on the kitchen counter, taking a swig from his sixth shitty beer. he checks his watch and it reads 2:15am. luckily, his dad was out of town and he could be out as late as he wanted. his memory was hazy on how or why he ended up at steve’s house, specially why he wasn’t leaving. he remembers dancing with carol in the living room to toto then steve to queen before he disappeared upstairs, nancy following. billy knew steve was drunk but nancy wasn’t.

billy was there at tina’s party and he wishes he had said something then, but he was too drunk, too high to get the right words out. he couldn’t say it. he was feeling something, something that wasn’t the weed or beer talking. he knew the second steve looked his way that billy would be begging for him to stay, begging for steve’s attention and his touch. but billy also knew he couldn’t feel this way, not here, not now. not ever. he couldn’t be that way with steve. it was such a bad idea to hang onto the short exchange of words said that night and dream of maybe saying something more to make steve stay.

from that night in october on, billy knew he was totally fucked, but he couldn’t get enough. he became hooked on steve’s doe eyes and his stupid hair. it was a type of drug that had to be kept secret that you took it more than anything else. he just had to settle with admiring from afar.

2:26 and nancy is coming downstairs, a blank expression on her face. she meets billy’s gaze and opens her mouth to say something, but looks away in shame as she walks outside. it would have been yet another bad idea to follow her.

2:31, and steve walks out onto the landing, tears in his eyes. he makes his way to the bottom of the stairs before looking up at billy. neither of them say anything for a moment.

“you look like hell, harrington.”

steve laughs a little, “thanks i just got back.”

billy jumps off the counter and puts a hand on steve’s shoulder, “you do somethin’ stupid?”

he nods and sighs, “yeah. my own damn fault. i’m too fucking stupid to make good decisions.”

“that’s not true, you’re not stupid.”

steve laughs again and pours himself a glass of jack daniels, mixing in some lukewarm coke from the table, “you still obviously don’t know me very well, hargrove.”

as steve takes a sip from his drink, billy watches as he intently stares out at the woods beyond his pool, which was now empty. steve was watching, waiting, for something.

“i think i know you well enough.” billy finally says, standing beside steve to look at whatever steve was searching for.

“no, you don’t. i don’t even know myself.”

“jesus, steve. no need to be so dark.”

steve walks outside and lays down on one of the plastic chairs. billy follows, sitting right beside him.

in the swelter of the night, billy finds himself staring at steve again. he just wants to hold his hand, to hold onto that touch. it wouldn’t be enough or maybe it would be too much. billy figured out quickly in the moment that this was the perfect opportunity to really get that closeness billy craved from steve. not just physically, but emotionally. he wanted steve to feel safe, to feel as if he had a friend who didn’t want to crack his head open with a dinner plate, at least not anymore.

“i wish she had never broken your heart.” billy says, directly his stare up at the stars.

steve takes in a deep breath, “yeah. me too.”

“you don’t deserve it, steve.”

“sure i do. i–” steve sighs and cuts himself off.

“you what?”

“there’s just—shit. lots of shit has happened and i was a dick. i was selfish.”

the way steve says it makes it seem like a big secret billy wasn’t in on, and maybe he didn’t want to know.

“what kind of shit?”

“i can’t tell you.”

billy doesn’t pester about it anymore, way too afraid of breaking this moment. he didn’t want steve to run away, he wanted him to stay. always did.

“why do you go back to her?” he asks instead.

“i ask myself that too. because, like, she’s not different. i mean i guess she is, but not really. she’s not the person everyone makes her out to be. but she wants something i can’t give her. i don’t know what she sees in jonathan. but it’s like…he makes her happy.”

there’s a beat. billy keeps his eyes on steve as he talks.

“i was the one who apologized for that night. she said she didn’t love me. she told me it was all bullshit. bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. and i don’t know why i let it bother me.”

billy shrugs, “love is a bitch. heartbreak, well…it’s heartbreak. it may leave a scar but that doesn’t mean you can’t heal.”

steve looks at billy, “damn okay shakespeare.”

billy just rolls his eyes, “is that the only poet you know?”

“maybe.”

billy takes a mental picture in his head of the way steve’s eyes sparkle a bit, even with the sadness on the brim of his smile.

billy’s voice gets softer, “i know you think you don’t deserve any better, but you do. you do.”  
and billy knew that whatever better was, he certainly wasn’t the one who could give steve what he so greatly deserved, no matter how much billy tried to change for the boy who was clueless.

“thanks.” steve nearly whispers.

2:57. the silence that falls isn’t awkward, it’s comfortable. the breeze gently moves through their hair with the cicadas in the distance.  
billy wasn’t sure when they settled on being civil to each other. maybe it was the night three weeks after the byers incident when steve found billy beaten behind the 7/11 and insisted on taking him home to patch him up. billy slept in steve’s bed that night while steve slept on the couch. they never out right apologized to each other, it was just implied.  
3:00am.

“i wish we had more chances to talk like this.” steve says, taking a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it.

“yeah, me too. you’re a pretty righteous dude.”

“gee thanks.”

billy watches as the smoke dances around steve’s face that’s illuminated by the pool light. his hair has grown since october and it falls perfectly around his head.

billy wonders if he’s just insane, if steve ever thinks the same way billy does. billy knows he can’t fall in love, he just can’t feel this way so fucking soon.

steve lays on his uncomfortable plastic chair, staring at the sky, wondering if he’s insane for craving the touch of the boy who was sat just beside him. it makes him loose his breath, makes his chest tighten up whenever he thinks of billy’s smile and the way his eyes were on fire that night in october. he wishes he has said something more, but he was too drunk to get whatever it was out. it really wouldn’t have been much, as steve was horrible with words. it wasn’t something he could say to himself.

there’s a gust of wind and a piece steve’s hair falls in front of his face. absentmindedly, billy reaches over and brushes it away. steve looks up at him and smiles. really smiles. something he hadn’t genuinely done in a while.

they look into each other’s eyes and it’s as if time stops. everything comes to stand still and it’s breathtaking. this is something that both boys didn’t know they wanted—calmness. reassurance in the silence.

it feels so right when billy leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to steve’s lips. it’s so gentle, so sweet, it almost makes steve want to cry. the carmel smoothness of the kiss, the way it feels so right. steve had been searching for something but he didn’t know what, but whatever it was—this was it.

in the moonlight of the humid summer night, the stars dancing along the pool water, the two boys lay side by side, lazy fingers in tangled hair. the cherry smoke and whiskey coated tongues stick to their faces like dew on a blade of grass.

steve says he thinks he’s loved billy a thousand different times, in a million different universes. he feels as if his lost heart found billy’s wandering soul on a timeline that suddenly aligned like the snap of a rubber band.

the world is theirs—only theirs.

it was 3:20 am now. hope was in their eyes. their love was burning bright. they were young, it was late and the universe felt as if it was spinning around them.

“i think i’m a terrible person.” billy whispers.

“i am too. i think we’re all terrible people.”

steve replies, his fingers laced around billy’s necklace. “but love isn’t terrible. it can be. but we can make it beautiful, can’t we?”

billy meets the eyes of a boy who was all but perfect.

“yeah, i think we can.”


End file.
